My Xbox broke hen I was living in Phoenix with Nikki, and while I managed to fix it later, I ultimately needed a new one. A student gave me one, and I’ve been destroying Skyrim, the fifth Elder Scrolls game, ever since. I loved Oblivion and Fallout 3, so I should love this game too. I do. Here’s the problem: it’s boring. My life is essentially dull. I have no friends I care to hang out with, I’m wildly cheap so I have no reason to go out and do things. I work at school and learn at the more expensive school, then I come home, sleep a bit, sit around, sleep a bit more, listen to the radio, read a little, watch a couple Achievement Hunter videos, etc. Now I have a big time sink, Skyrim. But I don’t like video games. Ffffffuuuuuuuuu
It’s a nice day today. We had to go to Sam’s and Home Depot. I took this photo while taking the trash out.
At Sam’s, I saw these possum dog toys. We have, as a species, fully dominated possums, clearly.
Then I took the salt down to the water softener. It’s a hand killer.
I had to go to Meier to get celery, but on the way back, I found this slightly damaged phone. It belonged to a woman named Alison, and if she wasn’t old, I’d totally do her. Ha! While riding, I thought that it smelled like Barcelona. I might do a post on smells sometime.
She only lived a few houses down, once I got a hold of her, so I just walked it over, and saw this cloud that looks like Iceland.
Then Adam and I watched Puss in Boots. My cat wasn’t as interested.
I went to Gabe’s today. Here’s the deal. Faygo is from Detroit, and people from Detroit call pop “pop.” What the FUCK, Faygo?! I walked to gabes early in the morning hoping to buy a Diet Rock n Rye, remembering high school summers, but it wasn’t available. I still had a little bit of nostalgia walking back through the neighbourhood I roamed as a kid. Soon after, I was killing time on a bicycle, and stopped by a couple of dollar stores. I eventually spent most of the day out and around doing nothing, riding my bicycle. Near twilight, I was searching for a place to sit and just listen to Catching Fire, like I did in Luxembourg, and like I did as a 10 year old kid. I used to just ride my bike somewhere and sit and think.
I used to often imagine I was alone, in the woods. Waldansamkeit or whatever is a feeling I’ve never felt. It’s more like waldohneleutenliebe. I read about Frodo and Sam camping out while still in the shire, and that dumb fox who talks for no goddamn reason in FOTR. It’s something I like, and something I desire. In Aruba, I often just sat on the beach alone. The only problem is, I wasn’t alone. There were hundreds of people there with me. During a trip to Maine, and there are pictures of this somewhere, I climbed a cliff and sat there doing nothing, maybe listening to Styx on my $20 Koss headphones, maybe just watching the water, that part I don’t remember very well, but I do remember relishing the alone time, no one near me.
In Luxembourg, I’d find a bench. It would snow, and I’d sit and watch the sleepy city at midnight. Fire and Ice, the bar, would close, and a few patrons would walk by across the bridge on the alzette to a night bus in clausen. Then, nothing. It was me and the thousand year old city all to myself. I loved it. I did not, however, love doing that as much as I did when I was a kid. Sometimes I’d walk across the street and sit behind the tree so I was out of the view of the front yard of my house, and at the very remote back yard of a neighbour, so I felt alone. Sometimes I’d ride into the woods and sit there. I don’t remember what I’d do or think about, other than the premise that I forced into my head, that I was alone and independent, hanging out there.
As a 22 year old, though, I had issues with going somewhere and just sitting. There are a few places I could do it, sure, but none that wouldn’t invite too much awareness on my part that I wasn’t alone, just faking it. At some point, I rode home and sat on the glider.
So, I’ve decided to do a dream journal, where I’d post some of my dreams that I remember.
Today, I had a few dreams, but I don’t remember in which order they appeared.
I was with my friend Jon at a Paramore concert at a very small venue. I don’t reaaaally remember Taylor or Jeremy, or even the Farro brothers, but I do remember Hayley being there, because Jon made comments to me about wanting to do her.
Anyway, it started off pretty normal, but about halfway through the show, most of the audience bloody disappeared. Not sure why, but I was ecstatic, so I went to the front of the stage and danced aground like an idiot singing the words to the song, and Hayley sang like 5 lines right to me! Awesome!
Then, I don’t know why, I left and walked around a store.
When I came back, there were more people there and Paramore was playing a song I never heard before, and for some reason, the stage was tilted at 45 degrees. No idea. I left into a grocery store.
I do remember part of this taking place in a grocery store too, and part of it taking place in a trailer. Weird.
So, I saw Sharron, a girl who…honestly, I should consider my ex girlfriend. I don’t think we were ever official. Anyway, we were hanging out, and I had a really good time with her! She has a nice butt in my dream. Anyway, we had such a good time that she invited me back to her place, where she had a bunny, which was, for some reason, digging in a pile of bunny turds.
That is all I remember from that one.
Big blue bag
I was with my current girlfriend, Desirée Duchesne, behind Waterford Mott High school, where we were waiting to get a bag, a big blue bag, of my stuff out of a shed for some reason, but we couldn’t get it for some equally strange reason. Very upsetting. Also, she lost her pants, and I was convinced there was period blood on them.